Perspective（10） "The Wishes of Adults and the Feelings of Children"| Each and every child is precious. We, adults wish for them to grow up
freely and in their own individual way. On the other hand, how does the
child feel? Even though they can’t express themselves verbally yet, there
is no mistaking that they desire a life of reassurance and hope, with adults
who care about them, . What is necessary for the wishes of adults and the feelings of children to not pass each other by? If a child has a disability or developmental delays, we inevitably focus on the things they can’t do or the parts which are different from others. Then, the adult who thinks that if a child can’t do something, they will end up suffering, and wishes for that child's happiness, could be led into a series of forceful approaches. From “We can't go on like this.” to “I have to do something for the child now.” They end up forcing the child to practice, forcing the child to understand, and forcing the child to persevere. Actually, professionals also think in this way. There was a time when children were receiving strict training and guidance. (Even now, some people believe this is necessary.) We have to verify properly whether this type of thinking is really for the benefit of children, but the most important thing is to consider their feelings. If the child gets motivated and feels confident about themselves, thinking “I’m happy that I can do it by myself now” and “I want to try more”, that’s totally fine. However, there are some children who are not happy or end up disliking the approaches of others, even though they are able, on the surface, to do what is expected by the adults. In most cases, we don’t clearly know whether it’s going to be good or bad for them until they become older. But children always express their feelings as much as they can. If you carefully observe their facial expressions, eye contact, and the way they form relationships with others, you can tell what they are trying to express even when they are little. The key is smiling, indications of intent, motivation, spontaneity, and trust of others. Even though children have abilities that can be appreciated, they don’t think to be pleased or gain more confidence… These things happen to us adults too. The key is how the individual feels about themselves when they can’t do something, more than whether they can or can’t do something. The value of human beings will never change regardless of difference in abilities. It is necessary for adults close to the child to respect their intentions and endeavor to accept who they are in order for the child to care about themselves, no matter what kind of person they are. If children’s trust in others and self-esteem grows, their motivation will definitely also grow. It is frequently said that support for decision-making and social participation are necessary in welfare for persons with disabilities. Let's place more importance on the cultivation of children's self-esteem from infancy, and together think about the kind of support that would satisfy both children and adults when those children get older. |
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