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Perspective（11） "An Adult and A Child - Consideration Based on the Relationship Between the 'Observer' and the 'Observed'" |
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| Children observe the attitude of adults, deciding “This person is X", in the same way that we judge and evaluate children. An adult and a child are always between in an “Observer” and the “Observed” relationship. For example, if we view a child in front of us in a negative way, wondering “What are they thinking?”, “Why do they do such things?”, or “Why they can’t do it?”, the child in turn views us negatively thinking, “This person won’t be able to understand me.” In such relationships, even though they look as if they are listening to adults their anger and feelings of opposition accumulate, and the child gradually feels negative about themselves, deciding “I’m not good”. When an adult sees this, they assume, “It's because they have a disability.” or “This is the child's disposition.” Conversely, if we view a child in a positive way and try to understand the feelings behind their behavior, “Why do they do such things?” or “There must be a reason behind this,” the child feels this change in attitude more acutely. Children always seek people who can understand them, so, without question, they want to be with such a person and communicate their feelings or requirements to them. Adults and children then start to build a relationship in which they can understand each other. The child starts to develop a positive self-image, realizing “I’m loved” or “It’s OK to be who I am” in the relationship. As just described, children are always influenced by the perspective and the involvement of the surrounding adults. Children have feelings or intentions as an individual even though they can’t clearly express it in words or through behaviors. There is no child who wants to give an adult trouble. I mentioned this in previous articles, but when a child has disabilities or developmental delays, we become preoccupied with visible disabilities or how they are different from others. Therefore, we can’t accept the child’s best attempts at expressing themselves and instead tend to view or guide them while placing priority on social conformity or development of abilities. However, there is a possibility of impeding the individual's communication, leading to a vicious circle within a cherished relationship due to occasional lack of consideration for emotional growth and decision-making. Healthy growth is sustained by secure human relationships. Once again, let’s reconsider communication between adults and children through the relationship between the “Observer” and the “Observed.” |
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