Perspective（15） "When it's difficult to hold your child..."| There are some children who bend backwards, hold on to, or lean their
body weight on you when you hold them. There are some children who have
been difficult to hold from their infancy, others, after they started walking
or from a certain point in their life. We will consider what it means to
hold a child and how to approach it. It is significantly important for a child’s healthy growth and development to hold them or have physical contact with them. Firstly, a child can cuddle up to their favorite adult and get a sense of safety. Secondly, it is best to hold a child when they feel discomfort, anxiety, or dissatisfaction, or when they are trying to recenter their mind. Whatever disabilities a child has, however difficult their environment, when they can think of their mother or adults around them as a secure base, they feel a sense of safety and confidence, and expand their own world. What kind of care do we need to have for a child to feel relaxed in being held? 1. First of all, check the setting in which a child grows suspicion or feels discomfort in everyday life. When a child brushes their teeth, washes their hair, is given discipline or goes somewhere, and you feel the need to scold, force or separate off, then please devise a way that the child can feel a sense of safety and take it well. 2. Next, here is a way of holding a child or having physical contact. If you devise a comfortable way to hold them or for them not to feel restrained, this reduces the sense of resistance to being touched through kind physical contact, and they grow a sense of safety and a sense of trust toward people. 3. It is important to have an awareness of holding a child. For example, some people worry that if a child who can walk asks to be held, they’ll stop walking or won’t be able to detach. But don’t worry! If they can cuddle up to an adult with a sense of safety, they develop motivation and independence based on that. And when an adult doesn’t want to hold their child because their actions will be restrained or their body will get tired, they label their child as “selfish” or “lazy”. There is no child who intends to give an adult trouble in the first place. When all is said, the sense of safety which a child can get from “being held” is a great source of energy. When you can, please treat your child nicely. When you can’t, please communicate your situation or feelings while accepting their feelings, “I’m tired, so please let me take a break.”, “Please wait a little bit because I’m carrying many bags.”, or “It will be helpful if you can walk.” It is necessary to have the patience to work out differences, but it is a very important experience to develop an understanding relationship. If a child feels loved even though it takes time, they will definitely feel relaxed and get better. (Of course, adults will be able to hold them better too!) We would like to walk through this process together and offer our support. |
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Social Welfare Corporation SUISEN FUKUSHIKAI
| Himejima Kodomoen | 6-3-33 Himejima, Nishiyodogawa-ku, Osaka 555-0033 TEL：06-6472-6001 
050-3541-8075 FAX：06-6472-6002 |