Perspective（18） "What is the diagnosis or judgement for?"| When I hear about a child from their mother, I often feel that the mother
faces very serious matters. For example, as soon as the mother heard their
child’s diagnosis or judgement; “intellectual disabilities”, “pervasive
developmental disorder”, or “○○ syndrome”, their way of seeing their child
changes, it’s controlled by fear or confusion, although they had treated
their child naturally until then, thinking “My child is cute.” or “I want
to do this for my child.”. I wonder if there are many people who have experienced not being able to do anything because of shock or child-raising has become a struggle after hearing the phrases; “Autism won’t be cured.”, “Your child can’t understand other’s feelings.” or “Your child doesn’t really understand even though they look like they understand.” Diagnosis or judgement doesn’t determine the future of your child. It just assesses the state of development at that time in a certain way. We should form an accurate picture of the child and determine what kind of care or next move we should make from there. However, the “Assessment” often occurs in comparison with others or because of impatience. How to overcome these things is a big issue for guardians. A child constantly develops, and the developmental delay is not a disease. It is not something to cure. A child should be nurtured and raised by communicating with others and gaining their own experiences. Therefore, our perspective in understanding the child’s behaviors and how to communicate with them are key. Is a child who has a tantrum because they can’t do what they like now unable to understand another’s feelings forever? From our experience, I don’t think this is the case. A child who sees things centered on themselves accumulate various experiences. When they realize that they can be understood, especially by communicating with adults close to them or people around them, they feel positively, “This person understands me well.” They naturally come to open up their mind and care about the person who can understand them. When a person likes someone, they naturally become curious and pay attention to the person’s facial expressions, signs, or words. They try to read and feel how the person observes them. When they are accepted by someone, they feel a sense of safety, satisfaction, and feel uplifted. They tend to listen to that person. We should not give guidance or instruction like, “Watch carefully, and listen!” A feeling of caring for the other grows in their mind while accumulating daily interactions. It is difficult, but we should not get swayed by the negative aspects of diagnosis or judgement. We can try to use it as an opportunity to take a real look at the child’s mind, to take a stance of trust and warmly watch over them, and to have peace of mind in raising them by devoting a great deal of time and care. |
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