Perspective（2） "Building a relationship starts with realization"| No one can live alone. We all live with others, among others. The most important thing is how a child achieves their own way of living through their interaction with others. Let’s consider this theme: The importance of “building trust” as a basis for growth. When a child faces great difficulties in their life, how do they act? If they have to deal with it by themselves, they end up having to avoid the scene, having to tolerate it, or having to confront it. If they can’t express their emotions of displeasure, anxiety, and dissatisfaction when they face difficulties, they might become desperately obsessed with one thing, push the other person down or bite them in order to avoid it. In these situations, they are usually scolded or distracted with other things in order to halt the action. However, symptomatic treatment will not work in this case. The child will end up avoiding the adult who scolds them and having more severe temper tantrums. Well then, how can we handle this? We need to understand the meaning behind their actions with a fresh set of eyes, from the child’s viewpoint. Firstly, we can see that the reason why the child takes such desperate actions as above is that they don’t have enough experiences of problems being solved with the support of adults when faced with difficulties in the past. They probably believe that they have to do something about it by themselves. Therefore, if there is an adult who can recognize their discomfort, anxiety, dissatisfaction or struggle from their facial expressions, eye movements, or actions, they will learn how to ask for help during difficult times instead of engaging in complex behaviors. A good starting point is for adults to be attentive to the child’s thinking and understand what they are really feeling so that the child can live their life positively. Children desperately seek adults who can reassure them. Let’s once again reconsider our everyday involvement with children from that perspective. For example, what kind of experience or care is necessary for children who pretend to be okay even when their toys are taken away or when they fall down, or for children who want to take other children’s things? We need to think of concrete solutions and actually try them out. And let’s have some real involvement with them! |
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