Perspective（26） "'Because it's for you' causes misconception"| There are various approaches to a child in daily child-raising, childcare,
educational treatment and support. If the child accepts it, of course that’s
OK. However, the adult needs to pay attention, because if they feel, “I
have to do something for my child.” and their passion is too strong, they
can’t notice how the child is feeling. Here is a specific example. This is a story of one elementary school. A, who is big and has severe intellectual disabilities can’t run by herself. At a footrace, two teachers stood on each side of her and held her hands, and a third teacher pushed her back and ran the whole distance with her. When they crossed the goal, the spectators and other teachers all applauded loudly for her. Some people were moved to tears, “Even if they have severe intellectual disabilities, they can do it!” However, following her behavior, I had mixed feelings. This is because she didn’t look happy at all. She bit her arm strongly while running from irritation and after crossing the goal, hopped around and cried out. I couldn’t see her facial expressions from a distance. Another example, B was doing a task called “puzzle box”, where blocks in the shape of 〇 and △ are put into holes of the same shape. She received the block the member of staff held out, but didn’t move. The member of staff held her hand and led her several times, and then she finally could put one. The member of staff praised her heartily saying “You did it!” “Good job!”. But her facial expression was still serious. She looked elsewhere and didn’t seem to be happy at all even when praised. While continuing her task, she gave the staff a wry smile when praised. Afterwards, she bit her fingers in frustration. It seemed that the staff didn’t really realize and so didn’t seem concerned by her behavior and her facial expressions. As in the two examples above, it seems that “Misunderstanding each other” happens easily when an adult asks a child for a certain effort or result. There are adults’ wishes and values behind it; “I want B to participate somehow.” or “It’s important to do it by yourself.” However, if an adult’s feeling is too strong, it will be difficult to respect a child’s will and accept their feelings from their perspective. And if an adult and a child continue misunderstanding each other, the child will gradually develop a sense of distrust and suspicion (against adults’ expectation) and not be willing to respond to their approach. Therefore, we would like to consider what kind of things a child can become interested in and pay attention to their facial expressions and attitude when they are working on it. We aim to support the cultivation of a child’s positive feelings while distinguishing the extent of their satisfaction and understanding. |
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