There are many stories that we hear from guardians whose child (early childhood
- school age) needs developmental support that moves those of us who provide
this support. I will introduce the stories of guardians when they first
discovered the feelings and intentions of their child who hadn’t yet been
able to verbally express themselves well.
- I didn’t think that my child who can’t talk had any intentions at all until
we started to go to the center. Then, I felt uncomfortable when I saw staff
talking and explaining things, asking for intentions, voicing their thoughts,
apologizing and comforting the children who couldn’t even reply to them.
To be honest, I questioned whether the children even understood. But when
I myself tried to talk to my child like the staff did, he started to make
eye contact with me, and if I comforted him when he had a tantrum by asking
questions, he would calm down. Now I can say, “This child is listening
and can understand!” with confidence.
- I used to say nothing to my child when I left her to go to the bathroom,
etc. (Come to think of it, she used to cry a lot in front of the door.)
And when I went out shopping, I asked a family member to stay at home with
her and left quietly. When I took the staff’s advice and told my child
where I was going, she started to stop crying or getting cranky and looked
at my face and said goodbye to me. Now, when I get home, she runs to hug
me. She can understand if I tell her the truth and console her.
- When my husband and I talk, our child probably wants to join us as he steps
between us. He sometimes mistook our actions as fighting depending on the
mood of our conversation, and held our hands and demanded that we held
hands with each other. He cares about us in his own way, and often listens
to our conversations.
- When I was in bed with a cold, my child brought over a glass and asked
for juice many times. I had poured the juice, thinking “I’m too tired to
deal with this now”, when he held the glass out to me. He cared about me,
it was not for him!
- Until now, even if my child was reluctant, I kept teaching her because
I thought it was for her sake. But now that she has become a junior high
school student, I look back at the past and realize that she hasn’t developed
any of the abilities that I desperately taught her. When I gave up and
left her to herself, she started to express herself: “I don’t like X!”
or “I will do this!” She couldn’t complete anything she was asked, but
she has continued an illustrated diary that she decided to start by herself.
At first, she answered “I don’t know.” even when asked what she wanted.
But now we see she has her own will.
These everyday episodes teach us that a child has their own will. We
would like to understand each child’s individuality and cultivate their
expression and communication skills together with their guardians.
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Perspective（31） "The Joy of Discovering a Child's Feelings"
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