Perspective（39） "Double Check! How to Approach a Child with Tantrums"| There are children who have severe tantrums; who become restless, run
around, or shout in a shrill voice. It is hard for guardians and staff
to approach them, because it comes back in the form of refusal or rebellion.
What do we need to pay attention to? In such cases, adults face difficult problems: How we understand the child’s feelings and how we accept their demands. Our approach gets stronger without us realizing, because it is difficult to convey our intentions, and we also want a definite reaction and response from them. Examples which are often seen:
Please observe the child’s facial expressions and behaviors closely. You’ll see their face is twitching slightly and their body is tense, and they do not have the soft smile that they would have when they are really happy. The stimulation is over a limit that they can accept comfortably. It could be said the situation is controlled by a strong stimulus. It is thought that a child’s brain is still developing, and they can’t control their feelings well like an adult. If you believe this is good for the child and keep interacting with them strongly without this knowledge, their tension, stimulation, anxiety and anger accumulates as a result, because they can’t express themselves and say, “Wait a minute.” or “That’s enough.” In terms of the adult, they will also get tired and won’t be able to feel good about it. They may even start to feel frustration or anger, finding it annoying or too much if the child keeps insisting, and end up abruptly putting an end to things. (I think people who have had this experience can understand…) This kind of interaction leaves a bad aftertaste, even though it may seem fun for a while. In the case of a child with severe tantrums, experiences where their demands and intentions can be expressed sensitively, and their feelings quietened through the soft approach and relaxed acceptance of an adult while having active interactions with people around them are necessary in order for them to feel calm and control their emotions. Actions such as holding a child in a relaxed manner, giving them a piggyback, being physically affectionate with them, speaking softly to them, and empathizing with them will surely connect to such experiences. If the child feels good about the response, they will seek a comfortable approach over a strong stimulus, become calmer, and their emotions will stabilize. Please double check your approach to daily interaction and try the above. |
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