Message from the Executive Director

Perspective（40） "To Not Waver. In Your Principles When Child-raising"

　Guardians who raise their child for the first time or staff who haven’t had enough experience are in a position where they can be swayed by various guidance, training methods and information, because they haven’t gained enough personal experience and knowledge through an ongoing relationship with their child. Here is the basic idea of the principle for raising a child whilst respecting their individuality.

Ideas that Confuse Child-raising The Fundamental Idea of Child-raising
Your child will have trouble in the future, unless you train them to do things on their own during infancy. It’s not true to say that “If your child can’t do X by age X, it will be too late.” Your child can’t utilize their abilities in life, if they gain them involuntarily. The one to use these abilities is the child, themselves. Let’s take time to cultivate their strength of living while caring for their intentions and feelings.
If your child depends on people, they can’t become independent. If you ask your child to become independent quickly, they will feel that they can’t ask for your help and must do it by themselves, and so will end up becoming wildly independent and have an isolated life. Attachment and dependence are basic human need. If the child has the experience of their mother accepting these needs, they can have the emotional support to develop their independence.
If you keep responding to your child’s demands, they will become spoilt. We need to teach discipline and patience to them when they are a child.
 Not only responding to your child’s demands but also the pleasant experience of being understood will lead to an emotionally connected relationship. It cultivates not only the ability to assert themselves but also the attitude of listening to another person, consideration for others, and self-sufficiency through their intentions being respected and their feelings being accepted by others.
Intellectual disabilities cannot be cured. A child with intellectual disabilities won’t learn by themselves, unless you keep teaching them.
 Intellectual disabilities are not a disease. Trust in people and self-esteem will be cultivated through communication with empathetic understanding and by focusing on the mind behind the behaviors, not by trying to correct their behaviors with respected training. If there are people who understand the child and an environment in which they can feel comfortable and motivated, their ability to learn will develop.
You shouldn’t allow your child to behave in a way that causes others trouble, such as pushing or biting. If you don’t scold your child, the problem will escalate and you won’t be able to handle them.
 An eye for an eye formula won’t bring good results. It is important to build a relationship in which the child is respected and supported when they are in a difficult situation. There is no child that starts off thinking of troubling people. When the child can communicate better with others, they learn this way of expressing themselves and stop their aggressive behaviors.

　If the child is required to follow an adult’s orders or framework, it will put too much pressure on them and create a grave situation which neither the child nor the guardian want. What we need to carefully keep an eye on from when they are little, is whether their daily life is enjoyable and stable and whether there is intention and acceptance behind their actions.

　Through our support of the child and their guardian from infancy through to adulthood, we feel confident that our focus in child-raising or therapeutic care should be on respecting the child’s will and understanding the feelings behind their behaviors.

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